Day Thirty Two

So today is the day I go home. I’m so sad to leave! I have become so attached to the church here. I praise the Lord so much for His grace in giving me this opportunity. Only He knows exactly how much it has meant to me. It’s been wonderful to have been a part of a family again and to have that “mom” and “dad” figure in my daily life again. My family also made sure that before I left, I ate all the foods that I had enjoyed throughout my stay with them. It was so sweet. We had our last meal together joking about how they would all come and stop the plane and stop me from going home (just like in the movies)! I felt the love J

So to sum it all up – THE LORD TRULY OPENED MY HEART TO HIM & THE CHURCH AND NOW I GO BACK TO BULAWAYO WITH A NEW VISION AND DETERMINATION IN MY HEART TO SERVE THE LORD WITH ALL MY HEART... AS A DAUGHTER IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD.

“Buhe, it is your responsibility to take care of the house of the Lord and people and it’s my responsibility to take care of you.”

Day Thirty One

The last of the convention and it was great! We went on a 10km hike through the mountains and down to some gorges. It was so beautiful. God’s creation is absolutely marvellous and I was so blessed. The winning teams were announced and trophies awarded!  We all said our goodbyes and headed home! I had a wonderful last night with my family. I packed and made sure everything was ready. I was so tired I slept like a baby! Praise the Lord for a beautiful day!

Day Thirty

Day three of the conference was amazing! The theme continued from yesterday’s “What am I living for?” The truth is that my generation of young people probably won’t even reach retirement age. Jesus is coming back soon and judging by the signs of the times we are in, it’s not much longer until He comes back for His church. All this to say, that this should somehow change what we are living for. Why should I be trying to build an empire for my grandchildren to enjoy when I won’t have any grandchildren? Why am I saving up for retirement when I won’t even get to that age? It was quite an eye opener to me. The world says we should be building our careers and getting further and further up the ladder but is that worth it knowing that time is so short? Is it worth investing time and energy into building up a substantial financial base knowing that you probably will never enjoy most of what you work for? I don’t know. But this I do know. It’s clear for me which road I’m walking and which race I’m running. Because I live in this world, it’s easy to get caught up in the world’s system and not even realise how worldly I am. A lot of my reason is often very worldly and I’m still crying out to the Lord to renew my mind because the carnal mind is enmity against God.

And even though it’s clear to me and the line has been drawn I was still a bit shaken when this question was posed. “Do you have visions of being great?” Surely there’s nothing wrong with desiring greatness if it’s for the Lord? Ayo! My heart was once again confronted. In that moment I asked the Lord to change my heart. With all my heart I just want to serve the Lord. He is my priority and His projects (not mine) are my priority. Yes I know I have weakness, I know I fail time and time again but still my heart’s desire remains: to serve the Lord all the days of my life. And that’s very clear for me.

So for those of us who have this clarity, we were prayed for. It was a wonderful time and as I stood there with arms high and heart abandoned God confirmed His call on my life. Not a call to greatness and not a call to just be busy with His work but a call to be set apart for Him. I want the Lord to trust me with the things of His kingdom. I want to be able to say & do whatever He asks of me without a shadow of doubt in my heart. I want God to trust me.

Lord thank You for Your sweet confirmation. 

Day Twenty Nine

Day two of the convention and it was wonderful. The theme was what are you living for? What is your vision for your life? What is the driving force of your life? Don’t be fooled, God is not mocked, whatever we sow to that we shall reap. And sometimes we think we can fool God but really we’re fooling ourselves and others and wasting time. I can’t pretend to be in the church and sowing to the spirit when really in my heart I am sowing to the flesh. I lived a lot of my life like that and I can tell you, it’s tiring! God sees our heart and we cannot forget that.

This led me to take stock of the past year and truly in my heart ask myself whether God was the driving force of my life. And I have to admit quite often He wasn’t but I want to get to that place where my love for God and my relationship with Him is the source of all my decisions. We were also asked what our priority has been throughout the past year. Ayo! After allowing the Lord to search my heart, I realised what my priority had sometimes been this year. It hadn’t always been to know the Lord more, it hadn’t always been to draw closer to Him, it always hadn’t been to serve Him more in humility and sincerity, it hadn’t always been to share the gospel more...but really sometimes my priority had been for me to make people to think that those were my priorities. How wicked my heart is in deceiving itself. I was doing all those things but sometimes the goal of doing them deep down in my heart was so people would know that was my priority which in fact meant that wasn’t my priority. I invested much time in blogging what the Lord was teaching me and I invested much time in letting people know what He was doing in my life. Lord please forgive me for those times when my heart wasn’t right and please make my heart pure in sharing what You are teaching me. It’s amazing how God’s light shines and shows the true state of our hearts so we can repent and continue on the road marked out before us. I wasn’t too surprised to find that’s what was in my heart but I was disappointed that I hadn’t asked the Lord to search my heart sooner. Anyway it was His perfect timing now and I’m ever so grateful for it!

Today we were prayed for to be clear in our stand for the Lord and to leave all the things of this world that so easily entangle us. It was so powerful and I felt a fresh vision, purpose and direction for my life.

I had a wonderful day with my team. We had fun with all the sports in the afternoon and the Lord is continuing to unite our hearts for Him!

Day Twenty Eight

So today was the first day of the convention. I didn’t feel myself at all. We were all placed in teams and I happened to be in a team filled with teeny boppers. At first I was bleak and I thought it would ruin my whole convention. During worship I cried out to the Lord to help me and He gently spoke something to me. I can make the choice to let it ruin it for me or I can make the choice to be a blessing and make the most of it. I chose the latter and it changed my whole perspective on the team and on what God wanted to do. My love for each one began to grow. Through lunch, group activities, sports etc we became more and more united. And it was just the first day!

Today we cried out to the Lord for purity in all areas of our lives. I remember being on my knees and just crying out to the Lord for purity in every area of my life but more specifically in my thoughts towards others. I want to carry a pure heart but so often my thoughts are not pure towards others and that makes my heart not pure as well. I repented before the Lord and I felt such a freedom. Lord please strengthen me in this area because I cannot do it in my own strength; it has to be by Your Spirit alone if it’s to last.

Day Twenty Seven

Today we went to the church in Flacq and it was really good.  After the main service we had an end of year meal as a church. The church members had the opportunity to express their gratitude to the pastor and his family. It melted my heart just to see how appreciated they are by their congregation. There were some very tear-jerking moments! It made me realise that I don’t often express my gratitude to the men of God that He has placed over me. I definitely want to be more of a support & encouragement to them and their families.

Convention starts tomorrow! Woop-woop! Lord please prepare my heart and open it up to receive Your Word. 

Day Twenty Six

I cannot even tell you how refreshing it is not to be celebrating Christmas this year. I’ve always enjoyed celebrating Christmas and actually it’s always been my favourite time of the year. But this year the Lord really challenged me in regards to what I really enjoy about Christmas. Somewhere there has to be a separation between Christians and the rest of the world and in many ways my heart had begun to be taken by the things the world has to offer around this time of year. But I love the way my family always celebrates Christmas and I missed that. But I’m so thankful for the opportunity not to celebrate Christmas this year because it’s shown me the other side to the coin.

We had a wonderful day today. We drove up to the house by the beach again and had lunch there. There were loads of us so the atmosphere definitely reminded me of the family gatherings we always had. Then we spent the afternoon at the beach and that was awesome! There weren’t many people at the beach we were at but I did take a long walk to the other side where all the tourists and hotels were. It was beautiful but I definitely the quiet beach where we were! After a fun filled day at the beach, we went back to the house and had the best time in the pool, playing games and preparing the food for the barbeque.

I was rebuked about not doing the salad quickly enough. And immediately something rose up in me in my defence. But all through dinner my heart was just not right towards the person who had rebuked me. I was carry it in my heart and I felt sick. The Lord showed me that I needed to repent but I really didn’t want to. I felt that I was right in doing it slowly and carefully but the Lord showed me I needed to die to myself and repent. So after dinner it happened that I was alone with the person and I just had to bring my heart before them and repent. And I felt so free. I was free with that person again and we could talk freely without me having ill feelings towards them. What a beautiful thing when the Lord prompts us to repent before one another. It’s hard but I’m learning that that’s the essence of the gospel.

Thank You Lord Jesus for a wonderful day!